Houston, we have a heartbeat

I don't think any parent ever forgets the moment when they first hear their baby's heartbeat. It's truly magical.

With Littles -- October 2007
Our initial appointment was with a nurse, to do paperwork, go over do's/don'ts, etc. I wasn't entirely sure of my conception date, so the nurse got me set up with an early ultrasound at 8 weeks to date the pregnancy.

That was when we first met "Dr. K." And that's when we first saw and heard the heartbeat, beating away steadily in a small object that closely resembled a gummy bear. She took her time, explaining how she did the measurements, pointing out when Littles "moved" (it looked like a quick shudder), listening to the heartbeat and mapping it on the screen. My husband and I were just awestruck by the entire experience.

I happened to be wearing my Ironman finisher's shirt that day, and Dr. K noticed it and commented on it. We chatted a bit about it, and she thought it was very cool that I had done that.

I might get into my Ironman experience more in a future post, but for now, suffice it to say that it's the only experience in my life that even comes close to mimicking labor and childbirth.  To know that I've gone through that, and to comprehend what it means, is to understand a whole lot about me: When I put my mind to doing something, I do it. I'm not afraid of a little hard work -- or a lot of it. And my body is capable of some pretty amazing things.

All qualities that have served me very well at both my births.

Anyway, I really think that Dr. K "got" that, right from the start. I always felt really comfortable with her. Not so much with her partner, "Dr. S," who came highly recommended but whom I increasingly butted heads with over the course of my pregnancy.

We couldn't know it at the time, but nearly eight months later, Dr. K would be the one to catch Littles. I credit her for playing a huge part in making Littles' birth such a positive experience. And I really think it all started in that little room with that little beating heart.

With Noob -- June 2009
After a previous miscarriage, my midwife was happy to get me set up with an early ultrasound. We went in at 6 weeks.

I loved my midwives, but unfortunately, they could not do ultrasounds themselves (only the OBs in the practice could do so). And as it turns out, their ultrasound tech's bedside manner left something to be desired. At this ultrasound, she inserted the probe and a little blob appeared on the screen. Silently, she messed around with the image a bit.

Where's the heartbeat? My stomach sank.

Then she made a few comments and mumbled something about a heartbeat. Wait, what? "So there's a heartbeat?"

"Yes. 120 bpm." Which is great for 6 weeks.

It was a very different experience from our first ultrasound with Dr. K. But regardless -- Noob had a heartbeat. That was enough to put a big smile on my face.

We had to wait over five more weeks to actually hear the heartbeat for the first time, at a regular appointment with one of the midwives.

With Baby Q -- today! December 6, 2011
This was my first pregnancy where I didn't have an early ultrasound. I probably could have asked Dr. C to refer me at any one of my appointments with her, but I didn't feel like hassling with the referral process. Plus, it goes against my overall philosophy of minimizing interventions as much as possible. There have been concerns raised about the effects of ultrasounds on developing fetuses, and while I don't find any of the arguments to be particularly convincing, it does seem prudent to minimize ultrasound use to only what's medically necessary. And really, I had no medical reason to need an early ultrasound this time around.

Anyway. Waiting also meant that we'd get to hear the heartbeat for the first time with our friendly homebirth midwife "C," rather than some random ultrasound tech.

Unlike my previous providers, C gave me the option to come in for my first appointment whenever I wanted. I opted to wait until 10 weeks, because I figured there wasn't much point in coming any earlier. C has no ultrasound equipment, and the heartbeat isn't usually audible on the doppler until around 10 weeks. Paperwork can be filled out anytime. I knew I could contact C via phone or email if I had any questions in the meantime.

Finally, 10 weeks rolled around, and I headed over to C's office. When it was time to listen for the heartbeat, C showed us a model of a 12-week old fetus and warned us that it can take some time to find the heartbeat of such a little being. Indeed, she had to poke around some, but finally she moved the wand a bit to my right side and there it was. Clip-clop. Clip-clop. Clip-clop. The unmistakable sound of a tiny heart beating away.

We all got big smiles on our faces. That sound was well worth the wait.