Noob's birth story

A couple of notes about the birth stories:

1. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in. They are long.
2. They contain stuff that some people may consider TMI. Mucus plugs, bloody show, tearing "down there," etc. You have been warned.
3. They were all written within days of the respective births. That means that they are a good indication of my perspective and mindset at the time of the birth. In some cases (especially regarding Littles' birth), my perspective/mindset has changed with time.
4. Hypnobabies users: You may want to use your BOP. All birth stories contain standard terminology (no "birthing time" or "pressure waves" here...) Littles' mentions p**n a few times; Noob's and Q's do not.

Still want to read? OK. Here goes...

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I was supposed to spend most of Saturday, January 30, 2010, coaching at a lacrosse playday about an hour away from home. But rain on Friday cancelled those plans, so instead, we just practiced at our home field around midday. In retrospect, this was a good thing!

I stopped by Joann's on my way home for a few things. When I was waiting in line, at about 3 PM, I felt my pants get a little wet and thought, "Great, I'm peeing myself. How embarrassing." But then I remembered that I have good bladder control, even when pregnant... and that a slow amniotic fluid leak can feel like you're peeing. When it happened again, I realized it probably wasn't pee. I paid for my items and hustled home, where I quickly confirmed that yes, my underwear was wet and no, it was not pee.

I called C, my midwife, to discuss this. She said that it could definitely be amniotic fluid, but time would tell. She asked me to call again if I started having regular contractions, or at around 6-7 PM regardless. My husband and Littles had just gotten home from visiting some friends, so I filled them in. We put Littles down for a nap while we cleaned up the house, just in case.

We called M, our doula, too, and were a little surprised when she didn't call back immediately. But there was no urgent need to speak to her so we just waited. She finally called back at around 6 PM -- she was at another birth! That mom was nearly two weeks overdue, and we had always expected me to go well into February, so our doula never thought we'd end up overlapping. The power of a full moon! Luckily, the other mom was getting close to pushing, so I wasn't too worried about M being available when we needed her.

Throughout this time, I did keep leaking slightly, and I lost more of my mucus plug. (I had lost some of it in the morning, before lacrosse.) I also had some sporadic contractions, but nothing major. I called C shortly before 7 PM, fully expecting her to say that this was a false alarm. Instead, she said, "If you are still leaking, your water is broken. For most women, that means spontaneous labor will kick in within 24 hours."

I didn't really believe her :) But we started preparing just in case, checking in with M and "E," our birth photographer [not to be confused with our doula from Littles' birth], lining up friends to help with Littles, getting my mom to fly out on the first flight from Atlanta in the morning. Other than that, it was a pretty normal evening. I cooked chili for dinner, and we did Littles' bedtime routine. Knowing that this might be our last night as a family of 3, we spent a little extra time on bedtime stories, finishing up with On the Day You Were Born, which has long been one of my favorites, and was especially poignant that night.

I went to bed around midnight, and woke up to pee at about 1:30 AM. When I did, I lost more of my mucus plug and started bleeding. That's when I realized that C was right. This was it.

My reaction was to panic. I don't really know why, because I had been looking forward to this moment for months, even years. But when faced with it, it was overwhelming and scary. I laid back down and put on a Hypnobabies track, and that helped me relax a little bit.

My husband was sleeping on the couch, leaving the bedroom to me, but at around 2 AM, I heard him get up to use the bathroom and called to him. He was a little freaked out as well. This was our first experience with spontaneous labor, and we had warned both C and M ahead of time that we were pretty nervous about it.

We decided to call M, as we felt like we could really use her presence. She was finishing up at her other birth but agreed to come over as soon as she could. In the meantime, I timed some contractions and they were roughly 7 mins apart, lasting around a minute. I texted a quick update to C and E.

M arrived around 3:30 AM. We talked with her for a bit and she encouraged both of us to get some sleep. We got her set up in our guest bedroom so she could do the same, since she needed it just as much as we did! I did fall asleep, occasionally waking up to contractions. It reminded me a lot of the wee morning hours of labor with Littles, when I was contracting on Cervidil and things were starting to pick up. I had a few contractions that I wasn't sure I could get through on my own, but I didn't want to disturb my husband, so I did.

At about 8 AM, my husband and I both got up, as did M. We checked in again with C and E. I ate a little fruit, but was starting to reach the not-hungry stage. The contractions were starting to pick up, so I walked around when they hit.

I still felt fine in between them, so I puttered around a bit. My husband and I had just bought some broccoli to cut up, cook, and freeze, so I cut that up in between contractions for a while. Then M and I started to work on making the bed -- a set of sheets on the bottom, a waterproof pad in the middle, and then another set of sheets on top. That way, if anything got on the sheets, it would only be on the top set, and the midwives could easily strip those off to leave us with a clean set of sheets. Unfortunately for M, leaning over to put the bottom fitted sheet on triggered a strong contraction, and I walked off. After that, I was pretty much done puttering, and just focusing on the contractions. Bless her, she finished making the bed on her own.

Littles slept in until about 9:30 -- rare for her, but she was fighting a cold and needed the rest. It worked out well anyway, to have that extra time without having to worry about her. When she did wake up, we had two of our friends come over to help with her. They live just a short walk away, and are planning a natural birth for their first baby (due in July), so they were a perfect choice. I went into the bedroom, relaxed, and listened to some Hypnobabies scripts while my husband cooked breakfast for everyone.

I quickly figured out that rocking on my hands and knees was the best way to get through contractions. At one point, after getting through a contraction that way on the floor of our room, I flipped over and looked up at M, who was watching me from the bed. I said, "I thought I had a lot of freedom to move with Littles, but I had no idea what I was missing. This is so much better." I'm not sure how I would have dealt with that position in the hospital -- on the hospital floor? Ick. In the hospital bed? Not a ton of room there, compared to our king bed at home. Not to mention what the drive TO the hospital would have been like!

Hypnobabies helped a lot, too. I reminded myself that I was only feeling pressure and tension, and used my "peace" cue word a lot. One of the Hypnobabies birthing day scripts had an affirmation that went something like: "I am safe, and my baby is safe, no matter how much power flows through my body," and I loved envisioning all that power moving through me during contractions.

Somewhere in there, someone called C and E to get them to head over. I think they arrived around 10:30 AM, but I had lost track of time by that point. C quickly checked my vitals -- good blood pressure, no fever, baby still head down and sounding great.

We mostly stayed in the master bedroom. I was still on my hands and knees most of the time, on our bed. That is the domain of our cat, so she often wandered under my belly and between my arms during contractions, and it was comforting to have her there. My husband or M or both applied counterpressure on my back during contractions, and M had brought a rice sock that she heated up to put on my back too. It all felt great. I usually looked up after a contraction and saw C -- she was just hanging back, quietly encouraging me, and checking in on the baby with the doppler every so often. E just disappeared; I was occasionally aware of the flash of her camera, but barely noticed her presence.

Littles, our two friends, and my mom (who arrived shortly before C and E) were out in the living room, but Littles came in every so often to say hello. As with the cat, her presence was always a welcome distraction. At one point, C wanted me to eat something, so M made me a plate of apples and peanut butter, and Littles jumped right up on the bed to share them with me and drink out of my water bottle.

Then she showed E her "monkeys jumping on the bed" routine. She was totally unfazed by the entire experience. On the contrary, she seemed excited by all these people in her house and enjoyed showing off for them!

At some point, probably around 12:30, I started noticing that the contractions were getting really long, and more on top of one another. There was one in particular where I had been walking around in the hallway and went back in to the bedroom. It ended up being just my husband and me in there. He was behind me, and I leaned back into him and we swayed. The contraction seemed to subside, but then it picked right back up and I noted the time. It was two minutes from that point until it went away for good, so the entire contraction must have been at least three to four minutes long. I knew I was probably in transition. It wasn't bad or awful in any way. Just different.

A few contractions later, I was back on my hands and knees on the bed. Midway through the contraction, I stopped the low vocalization that I had been doing and started to grunt. I felt my body pushing and it felt good. When it was over, M asked, "Did that feel different?" and I said, "I think so. I couldn't tell if I needed to push or if I just wasn't doing a good job of relaxing through that contraction." M said, "Well, let's see what the next one feels like."

The next one felt much the same. This was a really different experience for me, as I never really had the urge to push with Littles. G, the assisting midwife, had arrived a little while earlier, and she got to work on filling up the tub. C came in to see what was going on, and it was clear that it was time to push. This picture was taken right around that time:

A funny aside: I never once had my cervix checked. Not prenatally, not during labor. Apparently, out in the living room, my mom made a comment to C along the lines of, "When I was in labor, they were able to tell me how far along I was by giving me a number." Of course, that's the norm with most births today, too! But C just told her, "I can tell how far along she is by watching her. It's obvious." And I guess it was!

With another contraction, I pushed, and suddenly felt a pop and a huge gush of fluid -- my water had finally broken completely. I got scared because it was stained yellow, and I knew that meant meconium. When the contraction was over, I rolled to my side and asked C, "It's meconium, right?" and she said, "It's very light. Nothing to worry about."

Soon, it was time to get in the tub. It felt wonderful! My contractions disappeared for a bit and I wondered if maybe the tub was a little TOO effective at relaxing me, but soon enough, I started contracting again.

I remember pushing feeling really good with Littles, but this time, it didn't really feel good at all. I wanted it over with, so I held my husband's hand and pushed hard with each contraction. C applied counterpressure to my perineum (to help with tearing and hemorrhoids, two big concerns of mine), and G checked in on the baby with the doppler every so often. C asked my husband and me a few times if we wanted Littles to come in, but not knowing how much longer it would take, we decided to let her stay out in the living room until the baby came out.

After a few contractions in the tub, C told me that the head was right there and that my tissues were stretching. I could feel it all, and felt the head slide back up when the contraction ended. With the next contraction, I pushed the head all the way out, and was instantly more comfortable. It was wild to look down and see my baby's head there, under the water, and I asked C if it was OK for it to hang out like that! She said, "Yes, the umbilical cord is still providing oxygen right now." Then she told me that the body would come out on the next push.

And it did! I opened my eyes to see C pulling my baby up. And then came the moment I had anticipated for nine long months: My husband yelled out, "It's a boy!" I cannot even put it into words, the excitement and pride in his voice. It was amazing, hearing my husband say those words rather than an ultrasound tech, coming with all the emotion of seeing our baby -- OUR BABY! -- for the very first time. Hands down, one of the highlights of my life.

C put him right on my chest and we just started to laugh and cry. He picked his head right up and looked at us, like he was saying, "Hello, Mom! Hello, Dad!"

He was very quiet initially, just looking around with his deep blue eyes, taking it all in. After a few minutes with no noise, C got concerned about his breathing, so she did a lot of suctioning and finally he started crying. She asked if I wanted to move to the bed to deliver the placenta, but I was pretty comfortable in the tub, so we stayed in there for a bit.

They covered me up with towels, and we had our two friends and my mom bring Littles in to meet her new baby brother! Someone asked her what she thought and she said, "I have a big nose!" Everyone started laughing, but since she was standing right next to me, I heard her follow up quietly with, "He has a little nose." Very true, Littles. Very true.

My husband was on the phone calling people to tell them the news. He kept saying, "Just one more person!" And he'd call that person and then say, "Oh wait, I have just more person to call!" Proud daddy! Everyone kept asking what his weight was, but we didn't know yet, because he hadn't had his newborn exam.

C was getting a little concerned that my placenta wasn't coming out, and she suggested that I try nursing to cause my uterus to contract. I had some trouble because the cord was a little short, so C checked to see that it had stopped pulsating, and then she got my husband to cut it.

I tried nursing, but Noob had some trouble latching on. After a few more minutes, C asked my husband to take Noob so that I could try squatting to get the placenta out.

That didn't work either, even when I did some pushes, so we drained the tub and moved to the bed.

C felt my stomach and said she could feel some bleeding behind the placenta. She asked a couple of times if I was feeling faint, which I wasn't, thankfully. But I was starting to get a little nervous. E asked, "When was the last time she emptied her bladder?" and C said, "That's a good question!" I knew it had been a while. So C and G helped me to the toilet, where I tried soooooooooooo hard to pee... and I just couldn't! They were just outside the toilet room, writing some stuff down, and C told me to try pushing a bit again. I felt it come sliding right out. Whew. C and G didn't notice, so C asked, "Any luck?" And I said, "Well, something just came out, it was the placenta, another baby, or the biggest poop of my life" :) Then she asked if I had been able to pee, and as if on cue... "ssssssssssss." LOL! I got up and she confirmed it was the placenta. Whew!

While all that was going on, Noob took a HUGE poop. I missed it all, but my husband said he was covered from practically the shoulders down. Luckily, the new towels that we bought are dark brown :)

I got back in bed just as E was showing M the best way to put a prefold on a newborn :) I had specifically put some easier diapers into the box of diapers, figuring no one else would want to mess with prefolds. But E's tips made it really easy. My husband has been doing most diaper changes while I recover, and he loves the prefolds!

Once Noob's first diaper was on, I tried nursing again. E suggested trying the football hold, and that worked out really well. He latched on for quite a while, and made up for his lack of noise when he first came out by murmuring contentedly throughout the entire nursing session.

Meanwhile, C and G were cleaning up the placenta. C asked if I wanted to see it? Nooooooooooo. E asked if I wanted a picture? Noooooooooooo. Thanks for asking though, ladies. And thanks to M for taking it and throwing it away for us!

Once Noob finished nursing, my husband took him again while C and G inspected my bottom. They initially thought I hadn't torn at all, but it turned out I did need a few stitches. I figure it was probably my fault for pushing so hard, rather than letting my tissues stretch slowly, but oh well! It still wasn't as bad as last time, and both midwives said the tear was pretty clean and should heal up fine.

Then it was time for William's exam. Everyone guessed on his weight. My husband thought he was under 8 lbs, but all the ladies guessed in the 8 lb 9 oz to 8 lb 13 oz range -- and they were right on! He was 8 lbs 11 oz. He measured 21" long, nearly 1" longer than Littles, despite being over half a pound lighter. C and G ran through the rest of his exam on the edge of our bed, checking everything from his palette to his ear placement to his hip movement.

Once that was all done, around 4:30 PM, everyone packed up to leave. Pretty soon, it was just our new little family, along with my mom. Noob and I spent the rest of the evening cuddling in bed, relaxing, and nursing (which he got the hang of pretty quickly). Littles came in many times to visit with her baby brother -- still insisting, as she did for most of the final weeks of my pregnancy, that he is a girl :)

My husband and I went to bed with Noob at around 11 PM. We soon discovered that he wasn't a real fan of the pack-n-play, so he spent that first night sleeping in between us -- something that would not have been an option in the hospital at all, where the bed was definitely not big enough for two adults and co-sleeping was strongly discouraged anyway.

We woke William to nurse every few hours. After his 3 AM feed, I spent about an hour just laying in bed, cat on one side, my two boys on the other side, reviewing all the incredible events of the day in my head, completely blissed out.

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When C, G, M, and E left, they all came over one by one to give me a hug. When it was C's turn, she asked, "Are you glad you sent that email?" Because when I initially emailed her to set up an interview, I told her that I'd been thinking about sending that very email for months, and had finally decided to just do it. That email, of course, is what put us on this path towards homebirth.

I told her "yes," but really, that little word doesn't to justice to how glad I am. I had been very wary about seeking the "perfect" birth, because one thing that Littles' birth taught me is that there is so much that is outside your control when it comes to giving birth. But the experience ended up being about as close to perfect as I could have ever imagined.

One of my favorite parts of the movie "The Business of Being Born" has always been a line that goes something like this: "A woman will always remember the way she felt -- the way she was made to feel while giving birth." With Littles' birth, I felt strong, powerful, in control, in awe of my incredible body and all it could do. But I also felt like the people around me had "their" way of doing things that they followed, regardless of my desires. From the saline IV that the nurse just assumed I needed, to my OB tugging on the cord to get the placenta out without asking me, to even my doula asking for cervical exams when I wasn't sure I felt like lying on my back to hear semi-useless news of "progress."

Noob's birth was my way, all the way. I felt just as strong and powerful as I had with Littles. But I was also made to feel completely comfortable, and completely supported. Nothing happened to me, like it had in the hospital; I was asked at every step of the way what I wanted.

With Littles' birth, I was in awe of my body. With Noob's birth, I was in tune with my body. After Littles' birth, I felt like I had conquered a mountain -- because my body had taken everything the hospital had thrown at it, and overcome it. After Noob's birth, I just felt normal -- because my body had been allowed to do exactly what it wanted.

I still feel that Littles' birth was the way that SHE needed to be born, and I still consider it to be a really positive experience. But Noob's birth... well, as Littles loves to say, "Oh wow."