Q's birth story

A couple of notes about the birth stories:

1. Grab a cup of coffee and settle in. They are long.
2. They contain stuff that some people may consider TMI. Mucus plugs, bloody show, tearing "down there," etc. You have been warned.
3. They were all written within days of the respective births. That means that they are a good indication of my perspective and mindset at the time of the birth. In some cases (especially regarding Littles' birth), my perspective/mindset has changed with time.
4. Hypnobabies users: You may want to use your BOP. All birth stories contain standard terminology (no "birthing time" or "pressure waves" here...) Littles' mentions p**n a few times; Noob's and Q's do not.

Still want to read? OK. Here goes...

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On Sunday, July 1st, I was two days away from my due date. I was hoping for a few more days of pregnancy to wrap up some stuff at work, but I was happy to have made it into July (Littles and I both have late June birthdays, so it's a crowded birthday month in our house) and was on high baby alert, since Noob was born two days before his due date as well.

I had light contractions throughout the day. This wasn't too unusual on its own, but they were accompanied by a lot of pressure in my bottom, like I had to poop, but I didn't. I knew that was the baby moving down.

I started trying to time contractions at about 3 pm, but they were still too light and far apart to even be timeable. Soon after, Noob called for me from his room, where he was supposedly napping. "Lay down!" he told me. I did, and fell asleep, waking up every so often to another light contraction (and to Noob playing and not napping at all).

I got up with Noob at about 4:30. I finally let my husband know that I was feeling some contractions, but nothing major yet. Noob wanted to go swimming, so we went out to the pool. The water felt good and my contractions died down. Baby got the hiccups, and I realized, "This could be the last time I feel this baby hiccupping in my belly. This could be the last time I feel hiccups in my belly, ever." Noob was exhausted from not getting a nap and actually ended up falling asleep on my shoulder in the water -- very rare for him at his current age. I just sat there for a while in the pool, savoring that moment with my current "baby" in my arms, even as my body worked to push a new one into them.

We got out of the pool for dinner. Contractions continued sporadically.

7:13 pm - My husband pleaded with me to contact our midwife, C, so I texted her to let her know what was going on. She said exactly what I expected her to say, let her know if things progressed, or otherwise she'd see me at our scheduled appointment the next morning. I also texted our doula, M, as a heads-up.

Meanwhile, it was my turn to do bathtime for the older kids, so off we went. Normally, whichever parent does bathtime reads Littles her bedtime stories, while the other parent reads to Noob. But my mother-in-law happened to be there (she was staying with us for a few nights because the air conditioning was out at her house), and she offered to read to Littles instead. This night, I didn't mind relinquishing that responsibility. I headed into my home office to finish up the kids' sibling shirts and some last-minute things at work. Contractions were intensifying to the point where I sometimes stopped what I was doing to focus through them.

About 9 pm - Littles came in asking for another story. I figured I'd take the opportunity to clue her in on what was going on. I told her that Q might be coming soon, maybe even that night. A contraction came, and I went into self-hypnosis (Hypnobabies) to get through it. I can't talk while in self-hypnosis, so I think Littles thought I had fallen asleep :) She was poking me and saying, "Mommmmmm! Mommmmmmm! Come ONNNNNNNN!" Once the contraction subsided, I told her that my body was giving Q big hugs, and sometimes, I really had to concentrate while it was doing that, and I couldn't talk. Satisfied with that explanation, she picked out Angel in the Waters to read. We've read it quite a bit this pregnancy, although not for a few months now. It was good timing, to remind her of what Q was going through at that very moment.

After I finished reading, I went back into my office and kept working.

10:10 pm - M texted me to see how things were going and to say that I should probably try to get some sleep. I knew she was right. My husband came into my office shortly after, and I relayed that to him. He agreed. By now, contractions were lasting about 1 minute every 5-8 minutes, and I was often stopping what I was doing to lean over the yoga ball I've been using as an office chair for the past few weeks. But I was able to talk through the contractions when my husband was in the room, so I figured they weren't too serious yet.

10:40 pm - At my husband's urging, I texted an update to C. I also texted our birth photographer, E, so that she was aware. My husband said he was going to go read for about 20 minutes and then come get me for bed.

10:42 pm - I finished updating my maternity leave backup documents and emailed them to my manager.

11 pm - My husband came up to get me. I was in the midst of a contraction leaning over the yoga ball. Like the awesome labor coach that he is, he waited quietly for it to finish. Then he told me that he wanted to call M. She lives just a few minutes away from us, so it wouldn't be a big deal to call her over even if contractions ended up petering out.

I wanted to take a shower, to get clean just in case, so I went downstairs and got in. It was hard because standing up made the contractions more frequent. My husband came in and saw me sitting down in the shower and said, "OK, I'm calling M." I didn't argue.

11:23 pm - My husband called M. I eventually finished in the shower and managed to get out, but had to keep taking breaks to lie down through contractions. The tile floor in the bathroom wasn't real comfortable, so I was lying down in the carpeted walk-in closet that's adjacent to the bathroom. I told my husband to keep M out if she arrived, so that she wouldn't see me completely naked, while I worked on getting dressed between contractions. "I'm still in the modest phase," I noted to myself. "Can't be serious yet."

I also told my husband to make up the futon in the baby's room, so M would have someplace to sleep if it turned out to be a long night. I was still pretty convinced that if I could just lie down for a bit, the contractions would let up and we could all get some sleep while waiting for things to intensify.

11:45-midnight - I think M arrived somewhere in here. By that time, I had gotten dressed, and had brushed my teeth... still lying on the closet floor. She came in and I got up to spit out the toothpaste and she said, "Oh, don't get up on my account!" I said, "No, I just have to spit." :) Then I grabbed my hairbrush to brush my hair, and went to lay down in bed while doing it. M was laughing at the fact that I was concerned about my hair at that moment, and I said, "Hey, I forgot to brush my hair after I got out of the shower during labor with Littles, and it was a huge mess!" (There is a lovely picture in this post.)

Over the baby monitor in our bedroom, we heard Noob wake up. He does this sometimes and usually settles right back to sleep, but this night, he was having none of it. It's like he knew something big was going on. Eventually, my husband woke up his mom to lay with Noob, so that he could come back down to be with me.

12:07 am - I was lying in bed when I felt my water break. Of course it would break in bed: We just bought a brand new mattress a few weeks ago :) Luckily, I had made up the bed as recommended a few days earlier, with a waterproof mattress cover over the mattress, then a set of sheets on top, then another waterproof cover and another set of sheets. So I knew the mattress was protected, and cleanup would be easy, since all the midwives would have to do is strip off the top set of sheets and cover, leaving the clean sheets underneath.

M checked my water to make sure it was clear. She helped me get my wet shorts and underwear off. I asked my husband to bring me some clean pants and underwear, but nice underwear, not my old ones that have elastic hanging off and stuff. He brought me about 5 pairs of underwear, because he wasn't sure what "nice" meant. Since I was leaking more water with every contraction, and putting on pants/underwear just seemed like too much effort, I ended up staying bottomless for the rest of labor. And I kept finding underwear in the bed!

12:08 am - Prior to the underwear discussion, I had called C to let her know about my water breaking. She asked if I wanted her to come over. I said yes. I knew there was no turning back now -- with my water broken, baby's arrival was imminent, one way or another -- so it would probably be good to get her there. But I still felt I had a ways to go.

I also asked C to call E. They live close and sometimes ride to births together. E had to nurse her own baby first, so she told C to go ahead without her and she'd follow a few minutes behind.

Back at our house, my husband told M that the futon was ready for her if she wanted to get some sleep. M was like, "Ummmm, I'm not going anywhere!" My husband said, "OK, well, I might try to lie down and nap for an hour or two." I wasn't the only one in denial :)

To that point, I should explain how I was feeling through contractions. They started with a very sharp tightening in my upper belly. When that happened, I usually shifted to my hands and knees (if I wasn't there already) and breathed deeply all the way through my abdomen. My lower abdomen, in particular, always felt tight to start and as soon as I breathed it out, the contraction felt like it pretty much subsided. I could detect some lingering tightness in my belly and back, and the tightness eventually went away, but that was it. Sometimes, that tightness persisted for what seemed like a long time, which made me wonder whether that was a very short contraction, i.e. just the initial sharp tightening, with the lingering tightness being just how I felt between contractions... or a very long one, i.e. the entire length of time that I felt tightening. Given all that, I couldn't tell if the contractions were intense and frequent enough to make my cervix change like it needed to. And if I wasn't sure, I'm sure the people watching me were even more confused.

I kept working through those I-think-these-are-contractions while we waited on C's arrival. My hair was in my face and annoying me and I was worried about a repeat of my birds-nest hairdo after Littles' birth, but I was too focused on what my body was doing to say anything. Somehow, M read my mind and asked me if there was a hair band handy that she could grab for me. She found one, and I managed to get my hair up. What a relief. M is amazing in that way -- she had moments like that during Noob's birth, too, where she just seemed to know exactly what I needed, big or small.

12:45 am - C must've arrived somewhere around this time. She asked me if I wanted my cervix checked and I said no. Then she checked my vitals between contractions: temperature, pulse, blood pressure, baby's heartbeat. All good.

Not long after C's arrival, I started grunting and pushing through contractions. This feeling was familiar to me from Noob's birth. I knew that I was entering second stage labor. I was really surprised because like I said, all the way up to that point, I wasn't convinced that my contractions were all that intense. I guess I wasn't the only one fooled: C was telling E (who was en route) not to get a speeding ticket, she still had some time to make it over, and M was just getting started filling up the bathtub for me to get into. But I did ask my husband to go wake up Littles -- she wanted to be there for the birth itself. She came down, still a bit groggy, and curled up in the glider in the corner of our room to watch, a sleepy smile on her face. I hoped it wouldn't take too long, for her sake.

It didn't. Pretty soon, I could feel the head coming all the way down. C said, "Do you want to get in the tub?" I replied, "I'm not gonna make it!" The tub was only half full anyway. Good thing I didn't have my heart set on waterbirth :)

The pushing phase was the main thing I wanted to change from Littles' and Noob's births. With Littles, I had never felt an overwhelming urge to push, so I had to push very consciously. I did feel the urge to push with Noob, but because of my experience with Littles, I didn't really "trust" it, and so I still put a lot of conscious effort behind each push. In both cases, the pushing phase was short (around 30 minutes), and so I probably didn't need to push as much as I did. Furthermore, I suspect that putting my own force behind what my body was already doing was part of the reason why I ended up tearing with both. So, this time, when I started grunting/pushing with contractions, I trusted my body, and let it push on its own.

And it did a damn good job. It was probably just a minute or two after C asked if I wanted to get in the tub that she said, "You're crowning... Head is out... Reach down and grab your baby!" I was still on my hands and knees, so I couldn't see what was going on, but I heard my husband say, "It's a girl!"

I slid down to find a baby between my legs! I pulled her -- oooooooohhhhh, HER!-- up to my chest. Littles and my husband climbed onto the bed with us, and we all just stared in amazement at our newest family member. She cried a little at first, just to let us know she was OK, but immediately quieted down and stared back in equal amazement at us.

It was 1:11 am. 2 hours 29 minutes since I had emailed my maternity leave plans to my boss.

E ran in a few minutes later. Good thing C didn't wait for her! :) The assisting midwife, K, also showed up shortly afterwards.

(Here is a link to the sneak peek of the pictures that E took: http://earthmamaphotography.com/blog/2012/07/07/samantha-july-2-2012-flower-mound-irving-dallas-birth-photography/)

We heard Noob over the monitor again, so my husband went upstairs to get him, along with my mother-in-law. We weren't planning to wake Noob for the birth, but it worked out perfectly that he was up anyway. It was fun for E, in particular, to see him again, since she hadn't seen him since *his* birth! And he did amazingly well. I mean, it was the middle of the night, he hadn't napped (very unusual for him), and, well, he's a 2-year-old mama's boy who had just gotten displaced as the baby of the family. He could've been a super-clingy overtired mess of a toddler... but he was in a great mood, really sweet with his new baby sister, and even accepting of the fact that she was indeed a girl. (He's just learning the difference between boys and girls, and had been insisting that Q was a boy for the last few weeks.)

We all just hung out in bed until I was ready to deliver the placenta. C asked me if I wanted to clamp/cut the cord first. It was really short, so I opted to do so. Littles wanted to help my husband with the cutting, although it was pretty thick and tough, and the scissors weren't exactly made for 5-year-old fingers, so he ended up doing it mostly himself.

Once the cord was cut and the placenta delivered, I was able to get Q (who did have an actual name by this point :) up to my breast to nurse. She latched on pretty well for a first timer. When she was done, C inspected my bottom. Intact perineum, but three stitches for an internal tear -- apparently, baby girl threw me an elbow on her way out!

C also got my placenta cleaned up and gave Littles, Noob, and me a little tour of it. (My husband opted out.) This was something I was too chicken to do with my previous two births, but I'm so glad I looked this time, because it's pretty neat to see! My side and Q's side looked completely different. Hers was way cooler :) With the amniotic sac still attached (there are actually two sacs that you can see), the umbilical cord and "tree of life" veins spidering through it, etc. Littles even got to touch it ("it feels squishy!") and she says that this was her favorite part of the birth.

Then my husband took the older kids up to bed while M ran an herbal bath for Q and me. Yep, I finally got to get in the tub. Haha! Admittedly, some of the romanticism of a relaxing herbal bath post-birth was taken away by the fact that Q kept pooping :) But it was still nice to just relax in there. E showed me how to hold her out in front of me in the water, and it was amazing how she instantly relaxed and went right to sleep. She's been chillin' in water for the last nine months; I guess it just feels like home.

Eventually, we got out, and C and K did the newborn exam. Q weighed in at 9 lbs 4 oz -- 3 oz smaller than Littles (born at 42 weeks), 9 oz heavier than Noob (also born at 39 weeks). Considering this was after about 3 hours and a *lot* of pooping, she was probably at least as heavy as Littles was when she was actually born, quite possibly even more. (Littles was weighed within minutes of birth.)

Q passed her exam with flying colors and everyone packed up to leave. We finally went to bed about 5 AM.

Recovery has been a breeze. I have to consciously remind myself to slow down, I just had a baby, because I don’t feel that way at all. My husband has been waiting on me hand and foot so that I can relax and rest up. Having an intact perineum, even with the internal tear, has helped so much -- my bottom is a lot less sore when sitting around than I was with the other two. The main thing bugging me is the afterpains (cramping due to my uterus contracting back to its original size), but those are manageable. Q has been really chill thus far and the older kids are both great with her. We are so blessed :)